sometimes i don’t know why i get out of bed in the mornings. i mean, who am i really doing it all for now? my landlord is selling her apartment, which means i’m homeless once again. i’m nervous, because i have three months to find a new place. last time it took me more than four.

just one more bit of bullshit to deal with. something has to change, but just at the moment i don’t know what. i have a holiday coming up, because my parents are coming to see me. it won’t really be a holiday, because i don’t think i’ll have that much time for relaxing. aside from having to keep my guests entertained for about a month, now it looks like i’ll be spending at least some of it house hunting.

i need a real holiday. i need some time to feel happy and comfortable. it would be nice if i could work out how to inject a bit of that feeling into my professional life too, but my home life would be a start. i need time with friends.

the shawshank redemption is on tv. ‘get busy living, or get busy dying’ says andy. i’m not busy dying exactly, but not much is making a great deal of sense right now. hopefully living is somewhere not too far around the corner.